Just embarrassed myself all over NOLA again which I’m so good at. I don’t care about grad school anymore :( I care about money bc I am evil. Today outright rejected from two jobs went shopping pretendED it was2k3-2k9. Danced by myself. Sounded like an asshole. In front of the capital Q queer community in teeny tiny NOLA. Spilled drinkS on myself spiraled out realize it’s 2k14 and I have to do SOMETHING that makes me feel fabulous and not hit rock bottom on repeat
I went to a dance party and felt like a 1000 years old. Thank gawd for smartphones because then I have somewhere to look instead of staring at everyone with a sad face that says OMG I WANT TO JOIN YOU BUT I AM NOT DRUNK/AMPED UP ENOUGH/FORGET EVERYTHING ABOUT DANCING. It wasn’t until the end of the night where not one but TWO boys talked to me.
1. “SO WHAT DO YOU STUDY?” “POETRY.” “OH WOW.” “YEAH HEH HEH YOU CAN’T TRUST US!” (why did I say this because) “OH YEAH I KNOW. I DATED ONE AND HE WAS A LIAR AND I LEARNED TO NEVER DATE A POET AGAIN.” “UMM.”
2. “WHERE YOU FROM?” “PHILLY. YOU?” “NEW YORK!” “OH WOW HA HA I’M LIKE YOUR UGLY STEPSISTER.” “THAT YOU ARE!”
I’m a hit in NOLA/total catch/swipe left-worthy, right?
AREA’s hot shot prof dad just thought her lover’s/teacher’s intellectual’s tastes are lightweight and then I flashed forward to 2016-2017 where I’m teaching HS english and some parent thinks I’m a deadweight for watching pretty little liars and writing on my tumblr as my only published work.
I love staying up all night binge-watching Netflix on one tab, and on the other tab, stalking everyone on facebook/instagram/twitter, which spurs more feelings of inadequacy, resentment, and nostalgia.
1. omg vague posts are the WORST, but I do like ones that are in all caps. Maybe it’s a match.
2. Curious about becoming a shoe shiner at a hotel but I feel like I need to be an insanely optimistic and listen to businesspeople about how successful they are/sports/stockquotes/1%politics(?) and provide recommendations in a city I have zero clue about because I spend my days either in bed with netflix, at a weird dive, an expensive gay pool I have no business being at, and coffee shops pretending I’m working on something important. Also would probably need to part my hair/make it look shiny.
3. Totally thought a post was looking for someone to be TUMBLING INSTRUCTOR ie teaching people how to use TUMBLR O___O